>> I hope you have been working your HO out because the time is just
>> about
>> here. Yep next Saturday December 13th is the date; SF Santacon 2003!
>> Aww
>> yeah! It's the time that we reward the naughty and punish the nice!
>> Santa
>> always needs a drink but he is going to need quite a few stiff ones
>> for
>> the events planned on that day.Santa Ed, Santa Smooth & myself (We are
>> all
>> santacon vets that have seen plenty of good "santa action".) have
>> tossed
>> back quite a few cold ones during the planning process. We have
>> planned
>> a
>> day's worth of activities that should separate the true santas from
>> them
>> damn pesky elves with an inferiority complex.The plan is to unite the
>> East
>> Bay Santas with the City Santas then make our merry way amongst the
>> lovely streets of San Francisco. I am only going to announce the
>> meeting
>> spots & times. Once we are together more details will be revealed.
>>
>> East Bay Santas
>>
>> The santas of the East Bay are going to meet at the Last Chance
>> Saloon,
>> 56
>> Jack London Square at 10 am (http://www.posthoc.com/heinholds.htm)
>> SANTA
>> LOVES THIS BAR. They have agreed to open early for santa. Santa will
>> fortify him/herself at this gem of an establishment for the rough bay
>> passage to SF. We will then board the 11:30 ferry to the CITY
>> http://www.eastbayferry.com/when/aoweekends.html.
>> Unfortunately the ferry does not wait for santa nor is it free. Bring
>> cash
>> and be on time.
>> The ferry arrives in SF at 12pm. The Five & Dime santas will walk down
>> the
>> Embarcadero(Herb caen Way) and meet up with the rest of our family at
>> Pier
>> 23
>>
>> SF Santas
>> The SF santas will meet at Pier 23 at 11:30am.
>> http://www.danheller.com/images/California/SanFrancisco/Piers/
>> Slideshow/im
>>
>> g3.html
>> We will stay at Pier 23 until 1pm. Again, all santas will depart from
>> Pier
>> 23 at 1pm.
>>
>> Santa Ed's cell phone is (415) xxx-xxxx.
>>
>>
>> Let us not forget the sacred "four fucks"
>>
>> Don't Fuck with Kids
>> Don't Fuck with Security
>> Don't Fuck with Cops
>> Don't Fuck with Santa
>>
>> Ho!
>>
>> Mama Santa
>> (aka Angry Santa!)
>> Santa Local 415
>>
>>
>> It's very important how we deal with the public.
>> This is from Jamie via the Regional Santacon list
>>
>> Courtesy of the LA santas
>> ---
>>
>> Who's in charge? SANTA
>> Who are you with? SANTA
>> What organization are you with? SANTA
>> Who organized this? SANTA
>> Where did you get the buses? SANTA
>>
>> Honestly, there are those folks who figure honesty
>> is the best policy
>> and that's fine. The aforementioned statements are
>> true.
>>
>> Don't quote a web address
>> Don't point out someone
>> Don't give out a name
>> Don't supply an e-mail address
>> Don't hand out a phone number
>>
>> Remember: Dumb stares are easy. If you can't be
>> clever, don't be a rat.
>> Heck, who put you in charge anyway? You don't know
>> anything. You just
>> showed up in your santa suit. You heard about it but
>> don't remember.
>> People work hard to pull this shit together. The
>> least you can do is act
>>
>> dumb and cover their butt in case of trouble.
>>
>> "What? It's CHRISTMAS. We're SANTA. Right?"
>>
>> said kinda slowly with lots of emphasis like the
>> person you're talking
>> to is mildly retarded.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>>
>> When presented with the confused look of a stranger
>> and the question,
>> "Why are you all dressed up like Santa?" I plan to
>> look at them with a
>> straight face and reply, "Why aren't you?" or maybe
>> add in the phrase,
>> "...didn't you get my memo?"
>>
>> Or if I am asked what we all are doing, I reply,
>> "Isn't it obvious?" or
>> if we happen to be at the farmers market, "We came
>> all this way for some
>> oranges...we have terrible produce up at the north
>> pole and all my elves
>> have scurvy."
>>
>> I've decided that, if anyone asks me, I'll say that
>> I was already
>> dressed as Santa and that I saw y'all walking by so
>> decided to leave my
>> Salvation Army job and join y'all. Or that I have a
>> Santa fetish. Which,
>> for the record, I do NOT.
>>
>> "Am I to understand that SANTA is responsible for
>> this mayhem?"
>> "Yes, officer. Wait, you said SANTA and not SATAN,
>> right?"
>>
>> "Why are you all dressed like Santa?"
>>
>> Because our gorrilla suits are in the laundry.
>>
>> What? Who? (Turn around, act surprised to see a
>> bunch of Santas) Oh, my!
>>
>> This is what the Falun Gong does for Christmas.
>> ("Are you in the Falun
>> Gong?" No, but we like the idea.)
>>
>> I'm only allowed to tell you if you dress like
>> Santa.
>>
>> To mollify a deep-seated neurosis. (This one is good
>> for LA's many
>> inhabitants whose English is limited.)
>>
>> This is a pick-up location for day labor Santas.
>>
>> We're undercover. I'd leave the area if I were you.
>>
>> "Why are there 300 of you?"
>> "Well, why is there only one of you?
>>
>> "why is that santa standing with his santa pants
>> around his ankles...
>> umm... pissing in the gutter?"
>>
>> "what aren't you standing [or squatting] with your
>> pants around your
>> ankles pissing in the gutter?"
>>
>> if you're drunk enough and can't get the negativisms
>> in, it works well
>> to.. as long as you are sure whatever you are saying
>> makes sense.
>>
>> denying the whole concept is another fine theme
>>
>> "what santas?"
>>
>> "i hope i'm not the first to tell you this, but you
>> know santa claus
>> isn't real, right?"
>>
>> "i dont know about those guys, but this is what i
>> always wear on my days
>> off. i just figured it got trendy."
>>
>> "who's this Sam Toklas you're talking about? is he
>> related to Alice?"
>>
>> or blame the government
>>
>> "There's actually a secret nuclear plant up at the
>> North Pole that Bush
>> the Not Eldest started up again after Clinton shut
>> it down. Apparently
>> there was some waste dumping into the drinking water
>> supply and we just
>> woke up one morning and were all there. It was
>> pretty freaky."
>>
>> avoid, however, things that make us seem like a
>> suicide cult requiring
>> immediate police intervention "i don't know, some
>> guy just came up to me
>> and said 'Eat, Drink and Be Santa! For Tomorrow We
>> Die!' and it sounded
>> like a good idea to me."
>>
>> I look forward to spending some quality time with you santa.
>>
>> HO!
>>
>> santa NICE,
>> Local 415
>>
>> "Putting the HO back in the Holidays
>
>
>
> Jamie Slater! wrote:
>>
>> Go Santa NICE! (somethings making me thing Santa Nice
>> has been naughty)
>>
>> Ill be doing the NYC SantaCON this year, making a
>> list, checking it twice, and observing the skillz of
>> my santacon prodigy, Splinter The Stick Santa (who I
>> believe will do a kick ass job this year).
>>
>> Wooo HoooOOOOOOOOOoooo
>>
>> ho ho ho
>>
>> DrunkenRedheadedSanta
>>
>>
>> --- BGamble@W... wrote:
>>> Santa,
>>>
>>> It is that time of year to get our HOs ready for
>>> action! This is santa
>>> NICE, Local 415 Throwing y'all a big fat ,"HO!" I
>>> just wanted other
>>> folks of the Glorious Red & White to know that Santa
>>> Ed, santa Smooth,
>>> and myself are planning a day of rest & relaxation
>>> for all the santas of
>>> the SF Bay Area on Saturday December 13th. We are
>>> reading our lists and
>>> checking them twice because we want everyone to know
>>> that this is the
>>> year that the Fat Man takes back the streets! Aww
>>> yeah!
>>>
>>> We are closed to finish with our plans. If there are
>>> other
>>> 415/510/925/650 santa that are thinking/planning on
>>> doing something,
>>> please e-mail me off list so we can all be on the
>>> same page.
>>>
>>> I wish all of y'all a sucessful holiday season.
>>>
>>> That is all...
>>>
>>> ..over.
>>>
>>> santa NICE,
>>> Local 415
>>>
>>> "Putting the HO back in Holidays"
>>>
>>>
>>> ---
>>> HO FUCKITY HO PLANET! - santa-regionals@t...